Secret Santa wishlist ideas, and how to write one that works

Nobody wants to write a wishlist, which is why so many gift exchanges produce a candle. Your giver has one number, one deadline and whatever they can remember about you. Eight lines of specific information turns that into something you use in January.

On Bringalong your wishlist lives on your own private link, next to the name of the person you are buying for. You can edit it at any time and your giver sees the current version, so you can add an item in week one and swap it out in week three without telling anyone.

The three-tier wishlist

Write in three price bands rather than one flat list. Band one is one or two items at 90 to 100 percent of the budget: the thing you would be pleased to unwrap. Band two is three items at around half to two thirds of the budget, which gives your giver the option of pairing two. Band three is three items under about 10, the refills and consumables that rescue the situation when the first five are sold out.

Eight lines total is the sweet spot. Under five and your giver is guessing again. Over twelve and the list reads as a catalogue, which pushes them toward the cheapest line on it because that feels like the safe choice.

Order the list top-down by price and label the bands. A giver who opens your link at 10 pm with a 25 budget wants to know in five seconds which line to buy.

• Band one: one or two items at 90 to 100 percent of the budget.
• Band two: three items at 50 to 65 percent, so two can be combined.
• Band three: three items under 10, refills and consumables.
• Eight lines total, ordered by price, highest first.
• One line per item, with the price you last saw.

Price anchors stop the guessing

Put a number next to every item, even an approximate one. Your giver has no idea whether the tea you asked for is 6 or 36, and they do not want to find out at the till that the thing on your list is double what they agreed to spend. Write it as you saw it: around 22, about 14, roughly 8 for a pack of three.

If something you want sits above the budget, say which part of it you want. The useful version reads: I am saving for the 60 starter kit, so the 24 refill set on its own is the thing I would like. That tells your giver they can buy it without spending triple and without the awkward conversation afterwards.

Update the number if you see a price move. Takes ten seconds on your link and it keeps the list honest.

Sizes, colors and the boring details

The details are what people leave out, and they are the reason gifts get returned. Write down the measurement, not the vague version. Shoe size in both US and UK if your group is spread across countries. T-shirt size with a reference point, since a medium in one brand is a large in another. Phone connector, because a cable in the wrong fitting is useless. Coffee as whole bean or ground, and the grind if ground.

Add the negative information too. What you already own in that category, what you are allergic to, whether you can have scent in the house, whether you have a cat that eats plants, whether your kitchen has space for another appliance. Two lines of that saves a giver from the near miss where they buy the right type of thing and the wrong one.

• Clothing and shoe sizes, with a brand you know fits.
• Phone and laptop connector types, written out.
• Coffee: whole bean or ground, and roast preference.
• Allergies, and whether scented products are a no.
• What you already own in the categories on your list.
• Colors you will not use, if you are fussy about them.
• Pets and small children at home, for plants and candles.

Link to the exact thing

A link removes the guesswork, so paste one for anything where the specific version matters. Link to a product page, not to a search result and not to your own saved cart, which your giver cannot open. Then write the item out in words underneath, because the link will break or the shop will not ship to wherever your giver lives.

For a group spread across countries, name the item in a way that can be found anywhere: brand, model, size, color. One line is enough. If you only care about the type of thing rather than the exact one, say that in plain words: any dark chocolate over 70 percent from a single maker, around 15. That gives your giver room to pick and still hit the target.

Lines you can copy and change

These are written the way a wishlist line should read: what it is, the number, and one piece of narrowing information. Steal the shape and swap in your own things.

Notice that each one tells the giver something that stops a mistake. The grind, the connector, the thing already owned, the window the plant has to live in.

• Coffee: whole bean, medium roast, 250 g or larger. Around 18. Not decaf and not flavored.
• Socks: wool blend, crew length, US 10 or UK 9, dark colors. About 18 a pair.
• Kitchen: a digital instant-read thermometer, around 22. I do not own one.
• Hot sauce: anything fermented, medium heat, around 12. I already have four bottles of sriracha.
• Cable: 2 m braided USB-C to USB-C, around 15. No Lightning cables, I switched phones.
• Plant: a pothos or similar in a 12 cm pot with a drainage hole, about 18. One north-facing window, so nothing that needs sun.
• Book: a secondhand hardback of anything by Patrick Leigh Fermor, around 12. I have A Time of Gifts already.
• Filler: blue-black ink cartridges for a Lamy fountain pen, around 8. Good if you have budget left over.

What to leave off

Cut anything that makes your giver do work you could have done. The single worst line is surprise me, which reads as polite and functions as an instruction to buy a candle. Nearly as bad is an item four times over budget with no explanation, which leaves your giver either overspending or ignoring the list.

Also leave off things you are about to buy yourself, because you will own two by December. Experiences that need the giver to come along, since they are anonymous. Sizes you hope to be rather than sizes you are. And anything you only half want, because it will be the thing someone buys.

• Surprise me, anything you like, or no list at all.
• Items far over budget with no note about which part you want.
• Something you plan to buy for yourself this month.
• Experiences that need your giver to attend.
• A size you are aiming for rather than the one you wear.
• Twenty items, which pushes your giver to the cheapest line.